results

the results came back from the blood tests that js and i had done. everything was normal. it's good news to know that there's nothing wrong according to the blood tests that were performed. but it's also frustrating because we still don't have any answers to why i keep having miscarriages around the same point in every pregnancy. plus the doctor we saw was on vacation so i couldn't ask the questions i wanted to ask.

we've been pregnant five times. we have pbs. he was our second pregnancy. our first ended around eight weeks but i didn't have any symptoms of the loss until 13 weeks. our third and fifth pregnancies ended at seven weeks. our fourth pregnancy ended at five weeks. we've named all of the babies except for this last one. i haven't been able to come up with a name yet.

some days are better than others. some days are worse. i have a very hard time being around anyone who's pregnant now or has just had a baby in the last few months. i can't say congratulations or give any sort of well wishes. i feel guilty about this but i don't know what to do or say. it's always awkward, i'm sure because others don't know what to say or do or how to react to us.

i want answers. i hope to get some soon.