everything happens in threes or fours or fives or...

over the past week my parents were in town to celebrate easter and spoil pbs. the previous week js got a $92 ticket for "failure to pay full attention while operating his vehicle". we then received one in the mail for $250 from the dc dmv for going 11 miles over the speed limit and not paying within the allotted time. this one was taken by a camera and we did not receive any prior notice that we were going to be fined. js is fighting this one. on good friday, js hit a parked car. he left a note with all our information for the owner of the car but we have not heard anything from them. js called our insurance agent and had them check our car out yesterday. they told us it was $1,000 in damage but we would only have to pay $400. thank god for insurance!

one day while my parents were here we were playing a game in our apartment that we refer to as "window ball". the object is to get at least one ball stuck on the ledge of the window, which is 20+ feet up, and then try to get that ball down without breaking the window in the process. js and my parents were having a great time playing "window ball" when a glass of water spilled on the laptop. i was keeping pbs occupied and out of the way of the flying balls. we dried the laptop off and tried it to see if it worked. it did so we went on about our evening. there were bad storms that night. the next morning my dad tried to use the laptop and it didn't work and hasn't worked since that night of "window ball". js is going to take it to the geek squad this weekend.

is god telling us to slow down?  or to not look at buying a house right now? or is he telling us that we need to get a new computer? we do need a new computer but haven't wanted to spend the money to get one yet. we aren't sure right now what he's telling us but i'm sure we'll figure it out soon enough. we have been looking at houses in the last couple of months, so far we haven't found one that we love.

while my parents were in town, my aunt, uncle and some cousins were visiting some other family in the midwest. on their way home, they were in a single car roll-over accident. all were shaken up but fine. my aunt was taken to the hospital for observation and testing. she's fine too. they are all safe at home now. their car is totaled.

to me, this really puts into perspective what is important in life. people are most important. things are replaceable; people are not. this is how i try to live my life knowing that things are just things and i can change my mind about what i have and want. but people are irreplaceable and most important to me. i've lost too many friends and family members to think any differently.

in the last couple of weeks we've had our share of inconveniences and mishaps but if something more had happen to my family i would have been devastated. my parents flew home yesterday. they had a slightly bumpy flight due to the storms that are coming our way but they are home safe now.

can i take a "sick day"?

it seems that if js or pbs get sick they have the option of feeling sick. if i get sick i feel sick but have to keep going. i guess that's the life of a sahm or of any mom. i know there's been at least one time when both pbs and i were sick and js was able to work from home. i am very thankful for that kind of flexibility in his work and with his employers.

pbs was running a slight fever yesterday and has had a very runny nose for the past couple of days. we're all suffering from allergies. but pbs has the added pleasure of teething with his two eye teeth starting to pop through and maybe a couple more molars. poor kid's cheeks are so red, splotchy and dry from eczema. we coat him with cream and lotion and sometimes his cheeks look like they are sun or wind burned. they don't seem to bother him too much though. he's been scratching his eyes a lot too...but maybe that's because he need's a haircut. i've been a chicken, putting it off and not wanting to cut it myself. js wanted to wait until grandma and grandpa got here for easter so they could see pbs' long hair.

grandma and grandpa arrive today for easter. i think i will take a "sick day" or afternoon and/or evening while they are here. they've offered to watch pbs while js and i go out one day or night. i'm sure they wouldn't mind a little more time with him.

i can remember my dad taking "sick days" once in a while when he wanted to spend more time with the family. that was always fun. maybe we need to have more "sick days" as a family. i think i'll make that suggestion to js. let's schedule a few "sick days" this summer when we can have fun as a family.

getting back to "normal"

over the weekend we did some "normal" things as a family. we did the weekly cleaning and straightening of the apartment, some laundry, grocery shopping, dinner out with friends, went to church. some things were out of the ordinary but are becoming more normal all the time, such as looking at houses, going to a park to have pictures taken, riding a train and a carousel.

js and i were talking about some stuff and came to the conclusion that we're still adjusting to life after law school with a toddler in tow. it's a pretty big adjustment really. we went from being a couple on the east coast to living as roommates who said good morning and good night to each other for three years to having a baby and feeling like a single parent at times on the west coast to becoming a family back on the east coast. we're not just adjusting to life in a new part of the country but also trying to get reacquainted and figuring out how to be a couple again..

what ever anybody says about law school not changing you, they are wrong! law school changes and effects all who are involved, the students, girlfriends/spouses/significant others, even the kids. luckily pbs didn't know any different since he was born three days before js' final semester started. there was a group of girlfriends/spouses/significant others that called ourselves "law school widows" because our other halves were always studying either at home or in the library. we had to have that support system to get through. we didn't get together very often but knew we could call or email or facebook just to vent if needed.

now after three years of being roommates, we're finding it challenging to figure out who we are as a couple and a family. so while doing things like going to the park, grocery store, etc. may seem like simple every day things to most people, for us it feels good to be doing something "normal". js and i are getting reacquainted and starting feel more "normal" too. pbs just goes about his "normal" business of pulling all of his toys out and all of his and some of our books off the shelves. it feels good to feel almost "normal" again.

the wonders of technology

living on either coast has its advantages and disadvantages. advantages would include beaches within a few minutes to hours' drive, more opportunities for advancement in careers, more career options, playing tourist in historical and fun places...i could go on but i won't. some disadvantages would be grandparents are far away (no babysitters on call whenever we have a need), we have to travel to see family, family and friends have to travel to see us (this could be both), cost of living is much higher. so i guess it all evens out but that's not what this post is about.

the wonders of technology have brought us closer and taken us farther than ever thought possible. we are connected by cell phones, facebook, blogs, skype. family and friends can be seen and heard from more frequently but in an indirect way through facebook. grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends can all watch pbs grow through pictures and video i've posted on facebook. we can all chat on the phone several times a week or not at all depending on how schedules match up. they can read about our adventures and what we are doing on this blog. they can see how active and tornado-like pbs is over the computer with skype. it's all so amazing to me!

i can remember being in elementary school and my dad coming home saying that some day we were going to have phones that had screens on them so we could see the person we were talking to. now we do! i know that my grandfather had a cell phone when he was 87 and some family members being amazed at how well he could use it because they had trouble turning on a computer.

the wonders of technology are just that wonders. it seems like the only people i talk to sometimes are the people working the register in a store or twice a week at church. js had the pleasure of talking to one of our county's finest yesterday when he was pulled over for "not paying full attention while operating his vehicle". he said the "officer" was rude and not willing to answer questions. the "officer" then proceeded to "forget" to give back his driver's license. js asked for it back and the "officer" took several minutes to find it and bring it back. finally upon bringing the license back, the officer said, "good thing you asked for that back. otherwise i would have had to pull you over for driving without a license"! seriously! the "officer" didn't show any id to js to let him know that he was an actual officer. shouldn't that be a given? where did the "officer's" people skills go? the wonders of technology have struck again. 

so instead of trying to catch up with everybody on facebook, call or skype and get out , talk and work on your people skills! quit reading this and give the wonders of technology a break for a few days.

nap time becomes my time...to do everything else

when pbs was first born i couldn't get anything done because i was limited in what i could do. when he was two months old i went back to work and js studied at home a few days a week. i would come home after work and take over the evening shift while js went to class and the library. one day a week pbs went to a friend's house who watched a couple of other kids and had three of her own. js and i switched nights so that one of us was able to get some sleep.

the move across the country when pbs was just four months old was interesting and challenging. we stayed someplace different almost every night, visited many of our friends and family along the way, saw 14 of the 50 states and much of their beautiful countryside. pbs and i would sleep while js drove. js would sleep at night and i would get up with pbs at least once a night. this worked well for all of us.

when we finally got moved into our new east coast home, js would go to class/study/library like he did on the west coast. pbs and i stayed home. we would venture out sometimes but it all seemed to revolve around nap time(s). pbs was taking three naps at one point, but is now down to one long nap.

now we seem to have a system. pbs and i try to get out a couple times a week, depending on the weather of course. some weeks we get out more than others. it all evens out. if we get out before his nap time, i consider that to be a pretty successful day. he may stay awake until we are on our way home or he may fall asleep while we are on our way to wherever we decide to go for the day. i'm not too strict about his nap times. i know that he needs to take a nap but he's pretty good about letting me know when he's tired. he doesn't get cranky or crabby. if we're home, he crawls up in my lap and rubs his eyes about the same time every day. i put him in his crib and listen for a few minutes until i know for sure that he's asleep. that's when my time starts.

i can grab a quick shower, some lunch, start the laundry, pick up some toys, books and cheerios, straighten up a little, maybe do some dishes, look/dream on my favorite stores' websites for things that i want/need, even play on this blog some. i know that i have at least an hour, sometimes as much as three hours but he seems to be averaging an hour and a half to two hours lately. that's how i spend my time...and now nap time has come to an end.

tourist season

js and i fondly refer to the middle of march through the beginning of september as tourist season. sometimes we joke that it's similar to hunting/fishing/insert your seasonal hobby here season and there is a point system for rating the novice to the savvy tourist. js and i also refer to tourist season as our b&b or our revolving door. but really, tourist season is kind of fun for us because that's when our family and friends come to visit and we get to play tourist with them.

we've had friends in town for conferences since the middle of march, friends visiting over the weekend, family coming in about a week for easter. it's fun to be able to show off our capitol city to our friends and family. so starts tourist season in the nation's capitol. but it's not just here where it's tourist season. i know that we have trips planned for a weekend in nyc sometime before the end of august, back to the midwest for a family reunion and cousin's wedding, maybe back to az/ca to see friends and family.

today pbs and i are taking it easy this morning but are going to get out this afternoon, since it's supposed to be near 90 degrees. maybe we'll just go down to the pond and feed the ducks, i'll figure that out eventually. tomorrow is supposed to be rainy and in the 60s, so we'll stay home and relax then. maybe later in the week we'll try a couple of the museums.

i'm kind of an on the go all the time kind of person and may take it too far sometimes. i don't always realize that some people like to take things much slower and don't have to have something going every second of the day. i guess my dad's planning gene has rubbed off on me. i like to go, go, go and when we have visitors staying with us i want them to be able experience and see as much as possible.

not everybody is like me. many tourists want to take their time. others seem to get bored and get into trouble. this is the reason for the point system for rating the tourists and why we fondly refer to this time of year as tourist season.

retail therapy needed

before pbs was born , i was a "retail therapy" specialist. some people even referred to me as their "personal shopper". after pbs was born, i was home with him for the first couple of months. i went back to work until we moved in may 2010. sometimes after work i was able to stop at the mall before going home and would get a little "retail therapy" time. now, i can't remember the last time i had a successful retail therapy session without having pbs with me.

i don't want to pay for a babysitter so that i can have a retail therapy session. that could get pretty expensive. i feel like the weekends should be for family since js works all week and pbs and i are out and about playing tourist. so i don't feel right having js watch pbs, although he would and could. family time is very important to me. sometimes we end up going to the mall and other times we end up going to the Mall. i just don't feel right going to the mall for family time and that means that i am in need of some retail therapy.

how do i figure this out? how do i get over my guilt of leaving pbs and js alone on the weekend? maybe i need to schedule some me time and have that include retail therapy, maybe a hairapy session, girls' time, etc. maybe i need to schedule that time for one or two times a month. wouldn't i be a better mom if i had some time to myself?

retail therapy needed. a couple of casual-throw-on-whenever-dresses, some jeans, some cute tops, shoes, sandals, etc. the last time i bought any clothes for myself was in january! i was just replacing two tops that i already had. i did buy a cross-body bag in a fun, bright coral color a couple of weeks ago, but that was after much searching and researching online, at least a couple of months worth i'd have to say. i had pbs with me and he was getting hungry and impatient so there wasn't any shopping or browsing after that purchase had been made.

i guess my biggest hurdle will be getting over the guilt that i feel about leaving pbs. maybe that comes with the territory of being a mom or from having lost a baby early on. maybe i think nobody else can watch him better than i can. whatever the issue is, retail therapy is definitely needed.

spring cleaning

it's that time of year again when we go through the house and clean from top to bottom, making it look and smell fresh and clean. but how else do we go about doing "spring cleaning"? cleaning out closets. making new goals and trying for new beginnings with the birth of spring.

i dread cleaning and spring cleaning is no different. i guess i feel like it's a bigger job than it has to be. it doesn't help when it's gray and rainy outside. i know that when spring cleaning comes along i either go deeper into my winter blues or try to schedule other things, just pushing it off until a later time. that doesn't help any either.

my own issues with spring cleaning are deep rooted in my mind. i associate spring with new beginnings and new life. so in a way, i should be happy that it's spring cleaning time. but i'm not.

i went through a really dark period a couple of years ago after living through wild fires, not knowing if we would have a place to live and losing a baby at the beginning of the second trimester. i felt like nothing would ever be "good" again. i think it took me about four or five months to finally get to a place where i could say enough wallowing in self pity and get on with my life. i still think about that time sometimes and probably will forever, but i did get through it.

we had an orange grove behind where we lived that we had to drive past to get to our home. i felt like my mood and state of mind matched the way the orange grove looked after the fires. at first i was very withdrawn and felt very alone. js was with me but had other things that were, not necessarily more important, but more pressing at the time with school. a very good friend was there for me too and that helped immensely to be able to talk to somebody. the orange grove was gray and broken looking and that's how i felt.

as months and time went by the orange grove started to sprout new growth. my mood and state of mind started to lift and i could start to see the light. i realized that fires happen and miscarriages happen for reasons that i don't know and cannot control. maybe some day i will know why those things happened but i'm not dwelling on them anymore.

then when spring cleaning time came, we found out we were expecting again. we were cautiously excited and waited to tell family and friends until after we made it past where we were with our first pregnancy. it was not an easy pregnancy to say the least. there were many complications and concerns along the way but it was a successful pregnancy. we now have a very active, healthy, fifteen month old son, pbs. so i guess in our case, spring cleaning helped us to move forward.

happy spring cleaning!